Requiem for Reality

Current Mood: COFFFEEEEEE!!!!!
Listening to: Jahova - Rusko

Okay, so...lets begin then. Yesterday I took my last final as an undergrad at MSU. I think I did pretty decently. I don't know though, the material is so subjective, and you have to make it be exactly what the instructor wants in the course. I of course am speaking of Philosophy of Law. Which brings me to my next thought. Next semester I'm going to be a TA for the ADP. While I'm there I could take either one more philosophy class, or another sociology class and get a minor in either subject. The thing is...I really don't want to do any more school right now. Yet it still consumes my life! How does that work?

Any way, I got my paper back for Philosophy of Law. I was really worried about it because the subject matter was something that I appreciated, but I felt that I was again all over the place with my ideas. Sometimes it's very infuriating when attempting to put thoughts to paper, or convey them in a way that people can understand. That is a big problem with me because there are so many things that constantly pass through my head in regards to ideas and practices in the world. I attempt to look at the bigger picture, but it's hard because, well for one we are each so small individually, and two in an attempt to understand something that you are merely a part of and not being able to recognize the whole of it. So often I become strayed in my thoughts, not neccessarily lost because I know where I'm going, but I often have to explain my whole fundemental understanding of the world in order for people to understand what I'm trying to get at.

I think the biggest realization about all of these thoughts is that I fear that someday I'll end up like my grandfather, who is one of the most brilliant men I have ever had the privalege of knowing personally, and not be able to fully complete a thought any more, and get stuck on repeat....

So back to the paper, I turn it over and I see 29...and I think to myself "29? I failed". I had of course assumed the paper was out of 30 points. Much to my surpise it was out of 30. I nearly lost it...this means that if I did well on the final, I could make the deans list again. Really that't only important to me. And it's really only important to me because it is an accomplishment that was desired by me when I first transferred to MSU. I wanted to prove to myself that if I just stuck with something I could do it. I certainly appreciate my own mental faculties and capabilities. That is to say, I realize that I am not as brilliant as some people of my generation. However, I have come to terms with this and concluded that what may come easy to some does not to all, and to those who things do not come easy for they can continue to try or give up. I assume that some people give up because they see it as hopeless. Perhaps it is, perhaps it's possible that you cannot fly without wings. But then I think we are looking at it all the wrong way.

It's not about doing the impossible. I think it's more important to realize the possible, or better put, realize what is impossible, and contrast it to what is impossible, then put effort forward to complete that. But what is impossible for some may not be for others. Certainly the laws of physics are in place for a reason, and more than likely without super human abilities we cannot break the laws of physics. Nor with these human bodies can we travel at the speed of light, but that doesn't mean that we can't push the limits of what we consider to be impossible. Who would have thought 80 years ago, we could talk to person's instanly on the other side of the world? Or have a giant calculator capable of doing billions of calculations per second, connect to an electrical signal that transfers information instantly and stores it for future generations? Certainly these things may have seemed impossible then, but, now they are apart of everyday life.

So, there are many things that are infact IMPOSSIBLE, but that doesn't mean that they always will continue to be. Additionally while there are many things that are impossible, there are a great deal more things that ARE possible. We could probably fit the things that are impossible into one book. But the possible things around them to discover what cannot be done could fill the library of Alexandria!

Where was I going with this? Oh, right, so now that I have gone an graduated I'm going to be blogging a bit more. Especially today while I'm at work. I bought a new game and it's not my usual thing, but it's fairly interesting and time consuming. I expect that if I get a 3.5 in either one of the classes that I'm waiting on (and I suspect that 1 if not both will be) then I will make that deans list again. Which will most certainly guarantee my admission into the MSW program at MSU. Therefore in 2 years I should be a social worker making...70k?

Alright off to the other updates!