Requiem for Reality

Mood: Blargh
Listening to: Radio Chatter

The word for today is acceptance. But what does that really mean? Accepting things as they are? I have a hard time dealing with acceptance of things because if we honestly just accept everything at face value, then nothing ever changes. Maybe that's why I say how I really feel all the time. Because I dont accept stagnance. Some say we must accept our inevitabilities.

For example, when it is time to die, it simply is time to die. We must accept that death is an inevitability. Perhaps though, this is mmy flaw. When I look at the whole big picture of everything, I realize the inevitabilities of things. You see, I merely say forever as a turn of phrase. To mean an undefined time. Yet we both know that this is the end forever. We tell ourselves things like, this isnt goodbye, or we'll see each other next lifetime. But how can you be so sure?

There is nothing guaranteed save death. Even then, no one (well Jesus excluded) has returned from the next evolution to tell us what lies beyond. We base the future on assumptions about the past. We say, "this can't be the end, because we continue on in energy. I agree we do continue on in energy. But, for now, this conciousness is all I can be sure of. I don't know if the sun has ever had its heart broken. Or if its particles are capable of feeling love, pain, or other things. If I am to become energy and lose this consciousness, then I take solace in the idea that somehow we all may be one energy. One being, again. At the same time, I am broken at the thought that we as we are now, will not be again.

Then again if I am energy, and I couldn't remember the past before, then perhaps in my next form, I will have forgotten again, and appreciate the ignorance of my existence for what bliss it is.

For now though, in this reality, this existence, I hope I get into grad school. It could drastically help my life for the better. While I am here, in this form, let me enjoy the time we have together. Enjoy the adventure, because nothing, save death, is guaranteed. Even then it is speculative what may or may not happen.

This is the reality we have made. Enjoy it for all it has to offer, or suffer until we are released from our mortal coils.