Requiem for Reality

Current mood: Existing

Listening to: Walking Wounded - Everything but the girl





Why do I blog? I mean seriously. It's pretty useless. No one comes here and reads this. It's similar to my phone. I don't know why I check it. No one calls me. I mean I get texts from people at work on the occaision. Somehow that equates my total texts per month to be around 1000. But still...I mean I didn't even get a text at midnight last night. Well..okay I got one from my brother, but. It seems as though no one even realizes I'm here really. I mean I suppose the wife does, but it doesn't seem to me that I'm always thought of as having relevant feelings.



I just feel like because I'm the man I'm supposed to just suck up what I feel and be the bigger man about a lot of stuff. I mean there are things I want to do daily. I want tell people exactly what I think of them sometimes. ESPECIALLY her friends. Sometimes I want to just be left alone and not talk to anyone all day. Sometimes I do want to play video games. But none of that really matters, because I have to make things right in the house. So I just stuff down what I really feel.

But I think I'm gonna work on some things this year. I'm just gonna try to be happy for the way things are and the life I have. I need to stop obssessing over things. Over knowing things. Life keeps moving and so should I.

I could just as easily blog on my myspace page, but I'd like to keep that to my music only.

Any way life is very peculiar right now. For those not in the know, I have purchased a home, got my company license for recording and whatnot, got my own car, still going to school, and putting away for my retirement.

What's difficult is trying to do all of those things and still maintain a helathy relationship with my fiance. We've had our shares of ups and downs, but we are making it. It's just really difficult to put her before everything else.

Keeping that in mind, people sometimes ask me how it is that my relationship works. How it is that with everything I do I still manage to be happy with her, and she be happy with me. To be perfectly honest...I don't know.

I think the reason we do so well despite of our problems, is that we are realistic about the world. Certainly we have our fantasies, our dreams, but we are planted in reality.

What I mean is, it's a great idea to think that your relationship will never have it's ups and downs. Some people have been brainwashed by the media and Hollywood, to think that relationships are these things where it's butterflies and rainbows all the time. This just isn't true though. Others think that it's love at first sight and "you'll just know they are the one." These are all great romantic ideas, but they are not rooted in reality.

Look life is hard enough as it is, don't make it harder on yourself by trying to make someone into something they aren't. Chances are you're gonna cry at least once, especially if you're a girl. Girls are supposed to be more sensitive to things like that. Someone I know once saidsomething like real love will never make you cry. I beg to differ though. Not only will real love make you cry, it'll probably do it more than once.

Let's be serious here, it shouldn't be something you're doing regularly. You shouldn't be crying daily. But things will happen. Trying to have someone understand you're feelings who isn't you is a difficult thing. Especially considering the fact that men and women communicate on completely different levels.

Understand I'm not saying my relationship is the best in the world. We do have our problems, but who doesn't. I'll put it like this, if you're not having some sort of conflict in your relationship, someone is lying! If everything is rosy all of the time, then there is something wrong. Remember to be yourself. If you're gassy, well...don't cut your shorts on the first date. But if you've been together for awhile by all means. Well...I can't even say that, but what I can say is what ever works for you, works for you. If let's say not peeing in front of your significant other, keeps you happy then by all means do so. Just remember that the amount of stress that you put on yourself will manifest itself in other places. If you find yourself walking on eggshells all day long, and dreading to enter into certain conversations then you're going to experience lots of nothing fights.

Any way that's my rant for now, I'm off to figure out how to put some categories on this blog so those of you who don't want to read this (yeah all 1 of you who reads my postings), don't have to.